Romans 8:25

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

It's a 5. . .

So, you'd like that a "5" rating for a day is a good thing, right? Well, not according to my ranking system.

I've always loved mint-chocolate. Baskin Robbins Mint Ice Cream, Junior Mints, anything chocolatey and minty. Oh, I know, the new Mint Mocha Frap at Starbucks! Anyhow, I'm now into my daily dose of York pepermint patties. . .Not so bad, considering lower in fat, etc.

Well, today, it's a 5. It's not even lunch time and I've had FIVE patties. They're my comfort food. When I'm sad, I eat one. Does it make me feel better? For a little while, then I get sad again and I eat another one. . .I'm averaging 1 and hour, although I consumed more than that in shorter periods of time, with a slightly longer break between them.

Heavenly Father - I really need some uplifting news - a picture, a head circumference measurement, a video. . .hey, I know, how about a first decree?! That would be so uplifting.

Here's what I'll say when we get "that" call: THANK YOU FATHER, Hallelujah!

I'm ready. . .phone, ring??? Please? Anything?

P.S. I love you

Gracyn,

Mommy is getting your FOURTH care package ready to go with Jaden's mommy Ramona soon. It made me think - I do hope you're getting them. In case you can hear me,

P.S. I love you!

Mommy

Just pretending. . .YIPPEE NEW PHOTO!

Isn't she so silly?! And absolutely adorable?! Who wouldn't love those cheeks?! I can't wait to get this little sweetpea home. She'll fit right in with our family.

So at the end of the month usually all SLC Families get updates on measurements, new photos, sometimes video footage, and every month I wait, and I hope, and I pray.

I'd rather have a ruling than a photo, but a photo over nothing at all I'd still rejoice in. It saddens me to think that for anyone who checks our site for updates and doesn't see Gracyn's beautiful face on the first page that they just exit and move on to another site with beautiful new pictures. Who has time to go through old posts? Well, okay - sometimes I do, until I find pictures, but probably not everyone.

With that said, I'm "just pretending" - I'm pretending we got a new picture. This one hasn't gotten much press, so maybe I can pass it off as "new" -

Happy 22 Months Gracyn!

Last year our expectations were set to have our little girl home by now. Seems most of the 2007 referrals have come home and are adjusting to their forever families, and now even the 2008 referrals are starting to travel. Out little Miss Gracyn is still in Taiwan.

I'm hopeful that we'll get our first decree before the month is over. Since travel is usually about 8-10 weeks after the first decree, and we're only 2 months from Gracyn turning 2, the likelihood of having her home before her birthday is minimal. At this point, I'd be thrilled to be picking her up on her birthday! At least we'd be with her.

Praying for His divine intervention. Father in Heaven, please hear me. I trust that you have a plan for us, and I trust that your plan is not to bring us harm. There are days more recently that I struggle with trying to understand what's behind this plan. I pray for peace, and for you to take this burden off my shoulders. I pray that Gracyn above all else, knows you, and feels your love. I pray that her foster family knows you and are able to provide for her until she comes home. Thank you Lord. Thank you for holding Gracyn in your hands, while I hold her tight in my heart. In your name. . .I pray. Amen.

Happy 22 Months baby!! Mommy loves you!

You do know this is blog-worthy, right?

I'm not sure if this post is dedicated to my cutie pie Peyton, or my silly husband. Peyton just finished his first week of swimming lessons, and this week became comfortable swimming around on his own (with gear on of course) - Above you'll see my husband attempting to get into the cyclone spin - we've tried several times - anyone know how to use this thing? Peyton isn't quite as brave as Daddy. You can see getting ready to jump, knees bent, wait, one more time - okay, HERE I GO!

I love my boys and they're making a long summer of waiting extra fun and special. Praying for news this coming week - the official 2 month mark since our court log in date, came and went - I forgot about it - really? I forgot about it? Just for a brief moment, which was a much needed rest from all the worries of waiting.

What my daughter's life could have been like. . .

Pingtung Kindergarten Video (click here)

Gracyn has been in foster care in Pingtung since birth.

Sandimen Singers (click here)

Based on photos, decor of the home that Gracyn lives in, the furniture, tile floors, and other research has led me to believe very strongly that Gracyn is in Sandimen. A town in Pingtung where members of the Paiwan Aboriginal Tribe live.

PLEASE HELP!

I am a supporter of Morning Light Children's Home, and am praying that others will find it in their hearts to donate to this wonderful cause. Thank you!

http://morninglightac.chipin.com/morning-light-ministries

Do you need a gift receipt with that?

Jaden's mommy is going to pick her up next month, and she kindly offered to take our 5th care package to Taiwan. I have no idea if they even make it to Gracyn, but how can I pass up the opportunity.

I went to Target at lunch time and proceeded to buy more than I need because I've learned sometimes you have more room in that ziplock back than you think, and sometimes things just don't pack well. So, I go up to pay, and besides the Thomas the Train underwear, I have in my cart the following: musical glow-worm (I loved mine as a kid - although it didn't play music), a phone to record our voices, a pair of pink sandals with flowers, nesting cups for tub time, gerber puffs, and of course a soft photo album, totaling $47.72.

The clerk with a bandaid on the bridge of her nose says, "Do you need a gift reeipt?"
I reply, "No"
Clerk, "You're just going to go home and spoil your baby?"
I reply with a laugh and smile, no words
Clerk, "Am I right?" (or something to this effect)
I think - do I say my baby isn't at home, but I desperatelly wish she were?
I reply, "Yeah"

My baby may not be home, but she's found a home in my heart. As much as I love shopping for her, taking photos, writing about it, I really hope this is the LAST care package I send. I just want my baby HOME, and YES, so I can SPOIL her!

8 weeks and 1 day, but who's counting?

We've been in courts now for 8 weeks and 1 day, but who's counting? Well, this Saturday will officially mark 2 months. We've been told since we have the slow judge it could be as long as 5 months, or even longer. Wow, that means we may not hear anything until September?

We received the most adorable little Calin doll yesterday from Jaden's family. It brightened my day! Thank you Beauregard Family! Jaden is Gracyn's friend-to-be here at home.

Not sure why I'm even blogging, other than it's something tied to my daughter and I'm going crazy. The phone won't ring, we still don't know if she's walking, or what her head circumference is, but boy are we praying.

Gracyn, hold on tight little one! You'll be home soon! Mommy prays sooner rather than later. Maybe you could pray tonight? I've heard that God often answers the prayers of the kiddos first! Love you sweet pea!

Happy Father's Day!

This morning Peyton and I took my Dad out to dim sum, while Darryl golfed. He golfs maybe once or twice a year now, and the annual father's day event, is one that I know he enjoys. (Even if his Dad ended up on another golf course in another city! LOL)

We had a great time at church today, and Darryl was able to join us for fellowship. One of our members is a wonderful cook, and she made meatloaf. Darryl's favorite! I had the opportunity to spend some time with other moms while the kiddos played.

For father's day I used digital scrapping to make gifts for my dad and for Darryl. I loved being able to see my mom who's deceased, and Peyton in a photo together, and since we received the news of having the slow judge, I've been trying to find something positive to do while we wait. I've been waiting to post these, so now that gifts have been opened, I can share. (I don't even think DH knows how to get to our blog, so it probably wouldn't have mattered, LOL)

God's Plan Revealed. . .Ladybug Sighting x 2

Today I found out that we do in fact have the "Slow Judge" - Bummer. Not surprised with the challenges we've faced thus far in our journey. With that said, God's certainly revealed his plan. God will bring Gracyn home to us in His time.

After the news of possibly not even getting our first decree until September or as late as December I decided that perhaps this is God's way of saying, Morgan will come home as we originally thought. Could it be? Would God bless us with the time to get Morgan home, and just enough time to settle in and then send me on way to bring hom Gracyn?

I needed to get out of the house when we got home so we headed over to the school to play soccer, for me to walk around the playgroung, and to swing. I love to swing. (Although I must say that as I get older, I actually get nauseous!) As Peyton was going down the slide, I was sitting on the side talking to God. Peyton yells, "a ladybug!" - I spring up, run over, and it's the tiniest little lady bug I've ever seen. And then, I see another. 2 teeny tiny little ladybugs. One with more spots than the other, one more active than the other. Please God, let those little ladies be as sign than my little ladies are coming home!

God is amazing. With the challenges we've been facing, he's graced us with his love. DH and I were recently challenged with an odd situation. Very, very odd, and challenging, and hurtful. Ultimately it made us realize how important we are to one another. God recently blessed me with the opportunity to work closer to home which has provided the work-life balance I've been praying for.

When one door closes, another opens. . .

For those who have followed our China journey prior to our Taiwan journey, you know that our "expedited" status with China has always been a point of contention. I've been praying for God to show me what His plan is for us, and today, marking the beginning of our 7th week since being logged into court, He made it very clear for me. Now is not the time, and when the time is right you will know.

When I began to question myself, I stumbled on paperwork (the brown envelope kind) for China which arrived in the mail today. Yes, we see now. . .wait. . .date on the paper work? March 19th - 2 days before the anniversary of my mom's death.

Let's recap. . .Gracyn was born 3 days before we were logged into China. We'll be traveling right around the same time as my dear friend Pam (in Colorado) which we've always thought we would even though she had a January LID. (Congratulations to Pam and her family on their referral of Miah!). Slight change of plans, as she'll be in China and I'll be in Taiwan. Gracyn's birthdate on medical updates has twice appeared as our actual LID, not her correct birthday. Gracyn's story is that of most daughters from China in that we have no birth family information.

You see, Gracyn is the answer to my prayers. A little girl to share the mother-daughter bond I lost with the death of my mom, a child who needed to find her forever family, a petite little thing to match her not-so-big older brother! Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing me with Gracyn. Thank yor for revealing your plan for our family, and thank you for the unbelievable peace you've given me.

As we finish our adoption journey, and prepare for our new family journey, I want to enjoy every last minute. I want to enjoy time with Peyton as a singleton, and with my husband before we have even less time to enjoy date nights! The countdown has begun, and although the journey has not been without struggle, and has been longer than anticipated, no one ever said it would be easy.

Three wait in Taiwan. But they'll be home soon!

I had forgotten that I wrote a post about Gracyn and Lucy in Disneyland. Yes, Ramona, I, too, sometimes forget about what I've written about. When I read Jackie's message today, it reminded me, and since we're channeling the positive energy towards bringing all 3 princesses home, and I'm praying for them every night, here's my dedication to our girls waiting in Taiwan!

Thank you. . .

I just wanted to take a moment to do a quick post to thank two incredible people who have supported me through the adoption process from China to Taiwan.

Pam (Soon-to-be Miah's Mom) from Colorado is anxiously awaiting her referral! She's up next. Pam and I met very early on in our adoption journey and has been an amazing source of support. She's sent so many things to the kids, and me too! From Christmas gifts to ladybug gear, to necklaces, and you name it. . .she's a shopaholic like me. Can you tell? Anyhow, Pam - thank you from the bottom of my hear for your patience, your support, your energy, your friendship, and for asking me to be your daughter's Auntie in California! Praying for the next batch to arrive quickly and waiting for your call!

Val (aka Shawna, aka my 5-minute friend) from California is the fabulous Mommy to 2 (check out Mia and Mylee). Val and I met right before we received Gracyn's referral, and has been my daily dose of laughter ever since. Literally, daily. Sometimes twice daily. She's always answered my calls - even though she could screen and opt not to answer. She's listened to me yell, scream, cry, laugh, VENT, and that's not just about the adoption journey, but about my DH too. Did I mention her daughter's wardrobe including MULTIPLE pairs of shoes fill Gracyn's closet? Oh, and she's also begun packing for me too. From pink cashmere to toilet seat covers for travel, oh and the collapsible bowl and dish soap wipes (cut in half to conserve - no, she's not Chinese, LOL) she has it ALL covered. When I get the call, she'll be over packing for me, the kid, and maybe my dad too!

THANK YOU BOTH. I am blessed to know women like you, and am grateful for your friendship. On days like these, when the roller coaster feels like it will never end, I'm trying to find positive energy within. You're it - love you.

Jaden gets 1st Decree!!! WOO HOO

See the link to Jaden. Her Mommy just e-mailed me to share the WONDERFUL news. They were logged into court one week before us, so hopefully we'll hear something next week. They will be traveling no later than the end of July!! With a little help from God, if we can stay on the same timeline, we'll have Gracyn home before her birthday.

Not to rain on the happy parade here, but to be honest with others out there waiting, it's not easy to see so many families pass you up. We received our referral in November, and so far several other families who received their referrals much later than ours, some even this year, have already received decrees or have picked up their children. It takes a lot of strength, and a lot of faith. You celebrate the milestones with your friends, and then you quietly shed tears wishing it were you.

I know, keep my chin up, keep praying, keep being patient. Just wanted others to know that if you're in the same camp as me, I do know what it feels like. You're not alone.

CONGRATULATIONS to Jaden's family!!!! Hope the next few weeks go by super fast!!! Jaden's Mommy has always thought we'd travel together - boy I hope she's right.

Enjoy the photo of Jaden (one of my favorites!) - She's in the arms of another great Mommy - JACKIE! Mom to Lucy. And Mikey is the big brother of Jaden! My heart goes out to Ramona as she enjoys this wonderful moment, and to Jackie, as we both wait for good news.

When will we get the call?

I have the calendar marked down by the weeks. . .1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. . .Yes, we're in our 6th week of waiting, and the hope is we receive word of our first ruling by week 8. That would be the Monday right after Father's day. If we stay on that track, my prayers will be answered and we can bring Gracyn home before her birthday. Please, Lord, after the journey we've experienced, please, I pray, let us bring our daughter home before her 2nd birthday.

Here are Gracyn's referral pictures. The pictures we fell in love with back in November.

Jackie is the best. . .

We're on a short family vacation and are near Jackie's (Lucy's Mom) home. Unfortunately we weren't able to meet up for coffee, but we did get to talk on the phone. Jackie is an amazing woman and one of patience and great love for her children. She always helps me to put things into perspective and I'm always feeling better after we talk.

Jackie just received word of the first decree on her guardianship case, so she's now anxiously awaiting word on their adoption case. She's being oh so patient, and I continue to pray for her as she endures yet another wait. A wait that I will be there for! One day Lucy and Gracyn will be running around with Mickey Mouse, and this will all seem like a dream. . .