Gobble, Gobble, Gobble. . .

From my "big" turkey, Peyt. Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

Lora - I tried to get footage of Gracyn watching Peyton, but it didn't work. Imagine her standing next to me filming Peyton, with her feet spread apart at shoulder width - rocking back and forth, or watching intently and doing the gestures while big brother entertains us all!



Update: Since Ramona commented about the laugh at the end of the video. The "Scooby" sounding laugh - that's my DH. (No, not me, and not Gracyn!) LOL

Plain and simple. . .

This is what I'm thankful for. . .these two precious blessings and my dear husband!

 

 

 

 

The 9 Photos I Cherished. . .

. . .for 9 long months. From November 19th, 2007, until September 1, 2008, this is how I knew and fell in love with my daughter. I can't believe it's been a year since we received her referral. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday, but most of the time it feels like it was such a long, long time ago.

We were one of those families who got a referral relatively fast, but had a rather long wait. Not to mention the slow judge. . .As I sit here today, and I think of how Gracyn can't stand for me to put her down when I get home (not even for a second!) or how she crawls into bed and into my arms and falls back asleep while holding my hand, and then I reflect back just 12 weeks ago ago, and I'm in utter amazement. . .12 weeks and 2 days ago Gracyn celebrated her second birthday in Taiwan, while I was here finishing up my packing and getting ready to hop on plane. I used to lie in bed and pray for my daughter's comfort, for her and her foster family. I'd often cry thinking about the wait that felt like it would never end. Now, I still pray for her, but I thank Him for this incredible opportunity to be her Mommy. I thank Him for the lessons learned.

Just a thought. . .as you get older time flies by. When you're awaiting a referral or travel news, time drags. How is that? Then, when you get home and look back at it all, you wonder why it felt like it took years to meet your child. I got to thinking. . .when you're driving to a new location, somewhere you've never been, the ride always feels longer. You're looking around for signs, landmarks, worried you might get lost. I think the journey from referral to gotcha day felt longer than it should have because it was a journey I've never been on. A road I've never traveled, with no map, no estimated time of arrival, and no GPS guiding the way. Is it a journey I'd take all over again? Absolutely. But I think now that I've been there, my perspective has changed.

So, if you're one of those families who's waited longer than most for a referral, or someone who's watched almost everyone you know get their final decree and you're still waiting, or if you're crying because everyone got updates and their blogs are being visited while the one or two pictures you've received is in a post so long ago that no one sees it. . .know that others have been on that journey before. I have been on that journey. Take it all in. Every journey is meant to be unique as is each child. My journey was His plan and His plan brought me my Gracyn. I couldn't imagine in a million years having anyone but her. By they way, I used to digi-scrap the same pictures of Gracyn over and over again and pretend they were new. My way of coping. Now, I can barely find time to even upload all of her photos!

Just remember. . .In His time.

Happy Referral Day Gracyn!!! (She hasn't a clue why I made her take a picture with a "book" and didn't want the picture frame her lap!) But, I GOT IT!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Water and Words are Flowing. . .

Since big brother started gymnastics tonight, I got to spend some one on one time with Gracyn. I think she loved having the bath to herself because she was pretending to swim in there on her tummy!

On Saturday, Gracyn said "Ma Ma"!!!! Clearly. YES! She finally starting to really babble and is starting to make sounds that are close to real word. "Joo" for Juice, "Bu-bu" for Bubble. . .she can almost point to her eyes, nose and mouth, but needs a little prompting. She still uses some sign language, but we're really working on verbal communication now. I had always worried about missing all of her firsts. . .then when she came home at age 2 and couldn't talk, I worried. . .Now, I'm remembering the joy of watching your "baby" grow and develop. It's such a joy!

We're nearing the one year anniversary of our referral, so I've been looking back on her very first photos (limited albeit) from Taiwan.

Here's her First Bath in Taiwan. . .This is when I panicked because as I washed her hair, I noticed that her head had a significant flat spot - thanks to Ramona, she quickly eased my worst fears. . .

 

Here she is at home!!! Now my challenge is getting her out and drying her hair without a fight!

 

So happy to NOT have to share the tub. . .

 

She actually sort of posed for me this time. . .

 

One year ago today I had no idea that He was about to reveal my daughter to me. For those who have been there, do you remember those days of waiting and how they quickly disappear once you see that picture? And then how the journey to bringing them home gets a little harder because you know your baby is out there. . .And finally. . .they come home and it's been a year since that magical first call? If you're waiting for your referral, know that these days grow fewer by the day, and like me and many others, you're waiting with nothing in sight. . .and then, the phone rings.

Praying for those of you who long to see your baby's face. Praying for those of you who are awaiting the news of day you will hold your baby in your arms. Praying for those of you, who like me, are still working on bonding and attaching, and feeling frustrated when things are moving backwards, sideways, and every which way but the "right" way. I can't wait to see what He has in store for all of us!

During my wait, I believe Judy K. encouraged me to revisit Jeremiah. And if my memory is failing me, I still reflect on this one quite a bit. . . Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

He likes to move it, move it. . .

Peyton is one of those kids that has a strong personality, and sometimes that equals difficult. However, that also means he's sometimes an absolute character! If you haven't seen Madagascar, watch the video clip below first.

Peyton's version. . .Dance moves choreographed by none other than Peyton, himself. Here's the real deal. . .(I couldn't get blogger to load, so I'm trying Smilebox.)

Make a Smilebox slideshow

I Like To Move It - More bloopers are a click away

Is November 6th a Hallmark Day?

I'm sure you're wondering what "Happy November 6th" is, and according to Hallmark, it's absolutely nothing. . .but for our family, it marks the day that Gracyn and Daddy made great strides. Darryl recently mentioned that he thought Gracyn was starting to bet "better" with him. . .and then last night when he came home from work, she put her arms up for him to carry her. Yep. . .Gracyn wanted to be in Daddy's arms. And well, it didn't stop there. Gracyn already ate dinner, and she seemed to really like it (must be the carrots!). . .so when Daddy was eating she went up to him and OPENED HER MOUTH TO BE FED! Now that's some serious progress. She went back for several bites and I swear she had been fed. And then a miracle happened. . .

November 6th was a Thursday which means what? Grey's Anatomy and ER of course. . .My one night of TV. So, since all was going well, I thought we'd try to have Daddy put her to bed. (I should insert her that big brother was quite a challenge yesterday - not listening, peeing on the bathroom floor instead of the white bowl, so I was determined to plop on the couch, fold some clothes and unwind.) I take Gracyn into bed with her bottle, subtly walk away, hop in the shower and leave her with Daddy. She fussed, cried a little, I heard Darryl yell, "Don't kick my neck!" I reminded him that he was making progress and now was not the time to discipline, and then the crying stopped. While she was still awake, I turned off the lights so I could sneak out - whew - success. . .I landed on the chaise. Half way through Grey's Anatomy, Darryl walks out. . .no loud banging on the walls from mad FEET, no crying hysterically to the point of mom having to go in to quite her down and wipe away tears and sweat. . .both kids sound asleep and the wondrous thing about it? I did absolutely nothing. . .that's why 11/6 should be a Hallmark day! It felt like one to me!

Update: I didn't post this for fear of jinxing myself. Gracyn sat on Daddy's lap while we dined out, which is a first, and Mommy got to do shopping with a girlfriend on Sunday after church with no tears from Gracyn.

I don't think I've ever done two posts without photos, so the next one will definitely include some new ones. . .

2 months and growing. . .

I can't believe it's only been 2 months since I held her in my arms for the very first time, and a very short period of time. We took our first official family pictures today (11/1), and I can't wait to see them! Gracyn has grown so much since arriving home. . .and I don't mean she got taller or gained weight. She has changed, she has adjusted for the most part, and she has grown into our family. When I was waiting for Gracyn I appreciated the Moms who had the courage to post about the good and the bad, the amazingly wonderful moments and the ones that break your heart. With that said, I will try to do the same. . .

I often wondered how long it would take for Gracyn to "attach" to me. While in Taiwan, I was convinced it would take longer than the wait to bring her home. She wanted nothing to do with me, in fact I think she despised me. She would grieve, she would cry, she would kick, she would scream, she was pulling at her hair, scratching her skin until she bled, including her ears, and frankly, she was not my daughter, and didn't want to be. After coming home, I realized she was starting to attach to me. Within the first week I already noticed that she gravitated to Mommy. Was I comfortable with her staying close without me holding on? No, I thought she would wander off in search of something. . .anything to take her home to Taiwan. We often joked when she'd play "telephone" that she was calling Taiwan. After a month, while I felt she was attached, it wasn't until the start of the second month that I understood what I thought was her attaching to me, was her tolerating me. . .the lesser of two evils. When she began to put her head down on my shoulder, and I could feel that bond, that closeness that only a Mother and child and can share, I realized we were falling in love.

So today, as we've reached our two month anniversary since meeting on another, I can say, we're in love now. We went out to dinner for the first time without the kids today to celebrate my sister-in-law's 40th. A special dinner at a FABULOUS place, that well, isn't kid-friendly. Kids stayed home with Gong-Gong and I thought she'd cry for a few minutes like she does at daycare, and then realize I'd come home. Wrong. Sadly mistaken. She cried for nearly 2 hours straight. Stared out the back door looking for me, sat in the dark in the hallway to the garage waiting. My dad said that she found a picture of me (with Daddy, holding her referral picture) which was only within reach because we moved it down for the photo shoot today. She held onto it, laid on her back, and pointed to me. Was it hard to hear the report from Gong-Gong? Sure, but it was a different kind of "hard" - yes, I felt bad that she was miserable while we dined. However, it felt great to know that I was the person she was missing and wanting to comfort her. In Taiwan, Gracyn always wanted to be outside, and cried when she'd see the window hid behind the curtains, in search of her Foster Family. It seems she's grown attached to me now and that she has transferred her attachment from her first mother-figure to me.

I didn't get to finish this post last night because Gracyn woke up. . .update to the above is she had a terrible night sleeping. It seems that every time she has a really tough time, she has a set back. Today, however, while a little clingy, took a GREAT nap, and tonight seems to be sleeping like a baby! I can't wait to see how Gracyn continues to grow. On the "physical appearance" side of things, she's gained a few pounds, which Gong-Gong has affectionately named her "American belly" - but don't take that literally because at the age of 2, she's still very much in size 3 diapers with room to grow. Her hair has grown longer, her bangs are now pretty even and much thinner, her skin is much healthier and she smells like us. . .is that a weird thing to say? Even after bathing with Peyton, and washing her clothes with our laundry, she still didn't smell like us at first. . .now, she does.

I am looking forward to watching Gracyn continue to grow. Having her home brings all the joy I had hoped it would. Easy? No, not at all. The wait was difficult, the adjustment was trying, but seeing her gaze into my eyes, watching her fall asleep in seconds if I rest my hand on her cheek, to soothe her by touching her palms, and seeing how she has grown to rest her head upon my shoulder, and how her tiny body has grown perfectly into my arms, that is pure joy. Two months and growing more into our family day by day - growing in grace, with faith, hope and love.

Thank you to all of you who follwed our journey to bring her home, and follow her life here with us. Your support, your comments, your prayers mean more than you know! It took me 4 attempts to finish this post, and I'm starting to find myself short on time to keep up with Yahoo Groups, your blogs, and my own. Know that if I seem to be "missing", we're working on that "growing" thing, and think of you often. . .