Boys will be boys. . .

She's a lover.

 

She's a shield.

 

She surrenders.

 

He shows no mercy.

 

She smiles.

 

Because REVENGE IS SWEET, and the boys are about to be outnumbered, 3 to 2! Watch out BOYS. Mama's about to put the camera down.

Swagger, what??? (Update on Peyton)

When we took Peyton in to admissions, I shortly thereafter checked my voicemail to find several messages, including one from just minutes ago from the operating area. GREAT. I thought to myself, this surgery better not be canceled.

Apparently the two departments have some beef challenges with communicating with one another, and surgery wasn't sure what time we were arriving. It all worked out in the end. Only one of us was allowed back with him, not sure why considering the other little girl's parents were both with her, and she was only in for a 7-minute thumb surgery, but whatever. I took him back, he got the famous cocktail, and then he got funny. Nurse asked if there was any abuse in the home, any reason to be scared. No, no, no. I joked that the only abuse was what I took from the kid on the table. Peyton was talking to his cute nurse about horses, and then called me a crab. But then he went on to call me a fish, and every other sea creature, so I guess it wasn't totally abusive. The abuse didn't start until they wheeled him off and I went to the waiting room with DH.

 

About an hour went by, and I decided I better use the restroom before they call me back to recovery. I left DH with all the gear, and walked down the hall. I'm very aware these days of "how" I walk, to make sure I'm not waddling. I come back, and do you know what my DH said? "Hon, you have a swagger." THANKS, you mean a flippin' waddle?! He thought he was being honest and cute about it. According to the Urban Dictionary, swagger is defined as: How one presents him or her self to the world. Swagger is shown from how the person handles a situation. It can also be shown in the person's walk. I guess by definition, I present myself to the world by rocking from side to side. Delightful. Nurse, can I retract my answer to the abuse question and change my response to, YES?

Peyton cried like a baby when he awoke. The wristbands and BP cuff bothered him more than anything. Poor Peyt. Once everything was disconnected, they let us take him home. He slept the whole car ride home. And when he awoke he was HUNGRY. He ate quite a bit of noodles and juice. Then he had Pamillwa Favorites and cake. And we thought he'd lose weight?! Well, the meds must have masked the pain enough for him to eat yesterday, because today, he won't eat.

I'm so glad he did so well, but can I be honest? He is such a typical male. His whole world is crumbling. When Gracyn is sick, she sucks it up. Don't get me wrong, I know he's uncomfortable and I AM ABSOLUTELY babying him to no end, but he's milkin' it too. I'm feeding him with baby spoons, and taking him to the bathroom, and giving up my bed. . .And, please, keep in mind that today he was well enough to go with me to a doctor's appointment, ask to go to Target, and WALK all the way to the DVD section, peruse all selections, and decide on yet, ANOTHER Tom and Jerry movie. Thank you for all of the prayers - now that he's home recovering, it is ME that may need the prayers - prayers for patience to endure the recovery period. I can only watch Bolt so many times you know. I think it's been played, oh, about a dozen times. I guess now we have Tom and Jerry, Fast and Furious. Oh, and then yesterday night, he insisted on watching his "Birth Day" video. Note to self: Do not watch self in labor and delivery weeks before due with 3rd child. Causes anxiety. Oh, and I do have Gestational Diabetes, so to top it all off, I'll have to meet with a dietitian, use a glucose monitor and do finger pricks 4 times a day, and TAKE a flippin' very educational course on nutrition. Didn't they say it wasn't my fault? Why the punishment? Okay, okay, I know. . .now who's being the BIG baby?!

My Buh-Buh, My Stink Pot, My First Born

My bubby is only four and is going in for his second surgery. Tomorrow (Tuesday) Peyton is scheduled for a tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy, and tubes. Praying He guides the hands of the doctor and team operating on Peyton, and praying for my baby's comfort as he recovers.

As a treat tonight, he got to go swimming, which included a "bonus 3 minutes" after the timer went off, he got to enjoy a whole can of diet Root beer, since no "bubbly" drinks after tomorrow, and his late night snack was all the "Pamillwa Favorites" aka vanilla wafers, he could eat.

Please keep him in your prayers!

Peyton has the funniest personality. I caught him dancing in the driveway, and then pretty much begging to be hosed down - so, we gave it to him good! And I laughed the whole time I was snapping away. My bubby can be challenging sometimes, but he is MY buh-buh, MY stink pot, MY first born, and what I love more than anything is to SMELL him. You can bet I'll be smelling him and cuddling him back to his FUNNY self this week!

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Husband LAUGHED. . .

So, I guess I forgot one critical piece to my last post. As I was sitting in the waiting room, getting dizzier and more nauseous by the second, all of a sudden I hear this banging noise. I look straight ahead (great view) and I see my lab technician running around to the patient. I think the banging was an ice pack, she's holding the guy up by his head and reclining his chair. She's all of 5'2" and maybe 98lbs dripping wet. He looks horrible, and then of course i hear the "CODE 1 in the LAB, CODE 1 in LAB".

My DH, butthole comedian that he is, laughs at me as I tell him my story. He then says, if he were with me, all he could have done was point at me and say, "CODE 1, CODE 1."

And to think I just baked him his favorite cake. . .Hmmmm. . .perhaps I should just eat the whole flippin' thing myself, huh?

YUCK. . .then YUM. . .What we do for our kids.

Since I failed my 1-hr glucose test, I was forced to fast since yesterday evening and had to take a 3-hr glucose test today to see if I have gestational diabetes. Mind you I had my blood drawn 4 times, which doesn't bother me, but I have crappy veins, so as you can imagine, being stuck a few times for each draw was bad enough. My right hand, my right arm, my left arm. . .ugggh. But the drink loaded with sugar, that was the YUCK part of my day, which landed me on a gurney on my back with an icepack behind my head. Oh, and I was in tears. I couldn't figure out what I was feeling. Weird, shaky, nauseous, faint, dizzy. All at the same time. Luckily I kept it down and finished the test, and that was accompanied by thoughts of "this is it" - no more babies. Dh should be happy to hear that. And of course a trip through the In N Out Drive thru.

That was the YUM part of my day, but I must say I felt guilty and pitiful. My pregnant self, all by my lonesome, big belly before me, thoughts of french fries in my mouth, I sat there digging out coins from my wallet, wondering if my belly would show through the car window. Here I was on a weekday ordering a cheeseburger, fries, and a drink chocolate milkshake. Who are we kidding here? After that torture, I deserved the treat. I don't think I can even count on one hand the number of times I've gone through a Drive-Thru for FAST FOOD by myself, in my life. I kept wondering what the teenager behind the cash register would think. "That pregnant lady sure doesn't need another milkshake!" or "I wonder how many times she's ordered this in the past week?" or "Look at this poor lady, hungry again!" or "I wonder when she's going to pop?!" Let's just say it was an experience, and I survied it, just like I did the glucose test. And it was YUMMY. And yes, I polished off every last morsel and drop of my milkshake - you know where the sucking on your straw makes that funny noise?!

This is the first and the last time this will happen in my pregnancy. While the weight gain with this baby is better than with my first pregnancy, I'm still over. But, I'm so proud of myself for keeping it somewhat in check. Now how do I burn off all those calories I just consumed????

This is Our Life - the Joy and the Challenges

If I were to simply post these pictures, I think they would depict a happy, healthy family. Fact of the matter is, we're a real family, with real challenges, and while there are times that are purely full of joy, pictures such as these are captured, but they don't tell the whole story.

 

I love my DH dearly. We've been working on making our marriage stronger, and have really come to learn that without a strong and happy "us", the rest of the family will sacrifice. We're also working on our parenting style, and I say "our" because we've always had a different way of parenting, and probably always will at the core, but we're striving for consistency in our parenting, and granting our children grace even during the worst of tantrums.

(Aren't my boys so handsome and strong?!)

 

Peyton has adjusted so well to becoming a big brother, but he has gained some weight, which his Pediatrician noticed to be simultaneous with his sister's arrival. He will soon have to undergo his second surgery. Tonsils, adenoids, and possibly tubes. Sure, a pretty typical procedure, but always of great concern to a mama to watch her baby endure such discomfort. Peyton has been "hitting" which he never did before. This is something he picked up from his little sister. And as much as that is a bit of regression, he's also matured. He loves to be read to now, which I enjoy. Sometimes wanting the same story 6 times in a day! He likes to try to memorize the story by the pictures, and then tells Gracyn the story in his own words.

 

Gracyn has been home for just over 10 months now, and will soon be 3. She receives 2hours of speech therapy, 1 hour of occupational therapy a week, and will soon been evaluated for music therapy. She is just starting to string 2 words together. Her words are still not exact, and she quite honestly is more at the babbling stage. She seems to comprehend everything she should at her age, and can be very helpful around the house. Always happy to help, and very maternal. She'll make a great big sister.

The one thing that we still struggle with is her "episodes". Sometimes triggered by me giving her the "wrong" spoon, sometimes triggered by the bathing suit. Other times she's either suffering from night terrors, or she's just really mad because she does NOT like to be awaken from a deep sleep. When she does awaken in this state, she's still struggling and it breaks my heart. Calling out for me, reaching for me, but then when I hold her she pushes me away and sometimes hits, and always flails around, kicking as if I'm holding her hostage. Eventually, she comes around, and then just wants to be cuddled, but it's so painful to watch her like this. I've tried waking her up to show her pictures of her foster family, thinking her cries for "mama" are not meant for me. I've tried holding her tight, not holding her at all but talking to her and rubbing her back, and nothing works.

Fortunately this only happens every now and then. And on good nights, she sleeps soundly until morning. Albeit, the only place she'll sleep is on the floor. She hates, hates, hates the toddler bed. She slept on the floor her first two years of life, and does suffer from sensory processing challenges, so perhaps the floor bring her a sense of stability and comfort. (We make sure she's got plenty of padding, a comforter folded in fours to make a small mat, and her favorite quilt on top.) Oh, and I have found her sound asleep in the hallway a few times. Could it be sleepwalking? And are her episodes more night terrors than "rage"???

 

Gracyn likes to help us with our clothes - I think Peyton's shorts were falling off from going down the slide, but it looks more like she's about to "pants" him!

 

Darryl commented the other night on how amazing it is that these two kids have been made family and how they've learned to love and get annoyed with one another so quickly. Watching their bond grow has been amazing.

 

For a couple of days, Gracyn was really loving the water slide. . .and then she decided she was done. Luckily we got some great pictures while it lasted!

 

I admit it Your Honor. . .I convinced DH to go down the slide on his stomach. I got tired of the "fetal" looking pose because he was afraid his pocket zipper would puncture a hole, so I MADE him do the tummy slide. . .which resulted in a major boo-boo. But one HECK OF A LAUGH! Totally worth it from my perspective, and he KNEW it was blog-worthy. Doesn't that count for something?

Exhibt 1 - Fetal Pose

 

Ehxibit 2 - Tummy Injury

 

HAPPY SUMMER to everyone!

Embracing Pregnancy

Update on Sweet Pea #3
The first two photos on the left were taken on 6/6, and second two from 6/23. I can't believe what a difference just 17 days can make. Peyton gets super excited when he can feel "his" baby kick. Gracyn likes to point to mommmy's belly and say, "bay-bay" for baby. Peyton will even talk and sing to her! It's so sweet. This baby can do tricks! You can see my belly "jump" when she gets excited. This is the part about being pregnant that I love most - feeling her within me.

 

The not so fun part is being exhausted, and feeling overwhelmed. As I write this, we've just past the 10 month anniversary of having Gracyn in our lives, I'm approaching 30 weeks of being pregnant, I have a laundry list of things I need would love to accomplish. That list has recently grown to include some not so fun stuff. . .and I don't think "nesting" has officially begun yet.

My original list:
Finish Gracyn's Life Book
Archive remainder of 2008, and 2009 photos
Finish Digi-Scrapping for Gracyn's first year home
Finish the girls' room
Plan Gracyn's 3rd birthday party (early)

My revised list:
Peyton's tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy, and possibly tubes
Cut vacation short for the above surgical procedures
Take stinkin' 3 hour glucose test since I failed my first
Arrange for 3 music therapy evaluations, BEFORE she turns 3!
UGGHHHHH. . .

Retail Therapy
I have had some fun shopping for baby girl #2. She still does not have a name since DH and I can't agree upon one yet. We're fortunate to have so many great hand-me-downs, but Peyton wore "preemie" clothes for at least a couple of months, so I got to splurge on some "P" and "NB" clothes in PINK. Oh, and I picked out fabric and got to design my own diaper bag with a NEW favorite ETSY seller! This bag rocks! The pockets fit a thermos and wide bottles, and there's a gazillion pockets! With three in tow, gotta make sure there's room for sippy cups too! There's a key fob inside so I don't lose my mind keys, and a matching quilted changing pad too!

 

The Wait
I remember reflecting upon the wait for Peyton while I waited for Gracyn, and I've been reflecting again, but this time upon how the wait for Gracyn is different from the wait with baby #3. With Gracyn I think I was definitely more emotionally stressed from so many unknowns. Having photos of a child, a name, and a growing love without ever having known her or ever feeling her in my arms was sometimes unbearable. With this pregnancy, which hasn't been easy, there are unknowns, and yet the familiar growing love, but with no idea of what she looks like, what size she'll be, or how thin or thick her hair will be, but I can feel her. That's for certain. Within the last couple of days, she's been kicking and punching like crazy. With this baby, there's also an "end in sight" - a due date. With Gracyn I felt like I was way overdue and no one would induce me. I don't have to wait for a phone call to have my baby, I'll just be waiting for my water to break or for my braxton-hicks contractions to turn into the real deal. I won't have to talk to a travel agent this time around, just call Labor and Delivery and let them know we're on our way. Then again, with Gracyn I knew when I should rest, and knew when I'd be meeting her so I could be prepared. With this one, who knows it will be morning, noon, or night, in the office, in the car, or at Peyton's first soccer game. The journey to each child so unique and special, and it's all in His time. I'm going to embrace it and enjoy it, 100 degree weather, swollen fingers and ankles and all!

Prayers
Praying for discernment on how to simplify our lives, so we can be in the best place possible when our baby arrrives. Praying for no gestational diabetes, a safe third trimester and delivery, a healthy baby, and lots of quality time with Peyton and Gracyn before they have to share mommy three ways!