When one door closes, He always opens another

This is a long one, and I know you're all busy raising kids, wiping runny noses, (and bottoms), blogging, paperchasing, bonding, and waiting for the phone to ring, so I tried to bold the "highlights" of this post. . .

The first door that closed. . .and the door He opened
The first door that closed was a down right slam in the face. It was the door that made me question my faith, made me question my reason for living. That was the door of my mom's death. Six months after that door shut, DH and I were married, and just months after that we were expecting Peyton. I had "reasoned" with God. You took my mom, so I need this baby. I know, don't bargain with the big guy, but I was at a place in my life and my walk with God that was very dark. Shortly after Peyton was born we experienced the most challenging times of our marriage. I was still grieving, DH's priority was his business, we had a needy newborn, one who wouldn't sleep through the night. . .ever. . .and neither of us was turning to God to carry the weight. We recovered from that period and decided that after having our son, we knew we could love a child unconditionally without sharing genetics. Peyton turned 1, I turned 30, (both requirements for China) and just months later we were signing an application to adopt from China.

The second door that closed. . .and the one He opened, and closed, and He opened again!We were LID on 08.28.06. Told the wait could be as short as 3 to 6 months. Four months later I inquired about switching from NSN to SN. Something was tugging at my heart. Our agency was not, and still is not able to facilitate SN through China, and the rules had just changed - no more switching of agencies without starting all over. Door closed bit. . .and then it opened again, when Taiwan was placed on my heart. We've always wanted at least 3 children, so why not submit our application for Taiwan as well. We had then learned, IA takes a heck of a long time, so no harm in getting in line. Shortly after we were wait listed for Taiwan, the time came for our LID. Well, had we been expedited, we would have received that very long-awaited call with our referral of Morgan Fay. Ouch - when that door that shut, it was a blow. It was a heavy one that slammed my pinky in the door jam and ripped my nail off with it. No phone call for us. I sat and watched other families with our LID receive their babies' photos and I cried. We actually keep in touch with one of those families, and their daughter, Leah, is precious because she is a reminder of what it could have been like, although that wasn't in His plans for us. Just a couple of months later, we were asked how we felt about toddler adoption through Taiwan. Without hesitation, we expressed our interest. Two months later, we received the referral of Gracyn. Once Gracyn Riley, then Gracyn Leena, and finally Gracyn Natalee.

The next series of door shutting and openings. . .
While we waited 10 months to bring Gracyn home, we submitted additional documentation to China for Morgan Fay, to no avail. I once again, looked at SN lists, and contemplated switching altogether. I learned about Kyrgyztan adoption, Independent Taiwan adoption, I created a profile on Rainbow kids, I talked with a domestic placement agency. Talk about a whirlwind! We've now been LID with China for almost 30 months. We assume we won't be expedited, so the wait could be another 2 years. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. I finally prayed for a very clear sign as to what He wanted for us. I wanted to know His plan. And He made it ever so clear. . .

In summary. . .
Mom dies, God blesses us with a son. I still yearn for mother-daughter relationship, so we turn to adoption. Started with China, which taught us about other IA programs. Should have been expedited, but we weren't, and in the mean time the toddler program opens. God blesses us with Gracyn. I travel to Taiwan on the 2 year anniversary of our LID. Gracyn's birth date is accidentally listed as our actual LID for China. We start to feel that Morgan's purpose was to lead us to Gracyn. Just to be clear we're still LID, but He has also made it clear that our next child will not be joining our family through IA. Sweet Pea number 3 is due to arrive on 09.16.09. Right in between my parents' anniversary and our ours.

I had so many different drafts and titles for this post. . ."Baby Sister to become Big Sister", "The real reason why I've been MIA", "Peyton wants a 'brudder' but has no say,". . .and then I got to thinking about our journey. The ups and downs, and wonderful people we've met along the way. What would I have ever done without all of you?! We are where we are because of Him, but our lives have been shared with all of you in a way not even some of our closest relatives have experienced. We post, we comment, we pray, we support, we laugh, we cry, we ramble. . .most importantly, I think we all blog about the pain and the joy of growing our families. So, in a nutshell the above is about the pain that lead us to this adoption community, and this post, is dedicated the pure joy that we are so blessed to be blogging about.

Baby sister Gracyn, is about to be promoted to big sister Gracyn! I missed the baby days of Gracyn, but love that I have a few photos of her.

 

 

 

Peyton really wants a "brudder" and Gracyn, well, I think she'll be enjoying the spotlight as the baby of the family for as long as she can. Luckily, she loves babies, and she loves to help! There's certainly enough love to go around! Not sure about food though. . .these two alone are eating me out of my house!