One Year Ago. . .Part 3

While in Taiwan, seeing Gracyn's bond to my dad, the "Guy", I had prepared Darryl to be the one she'd latch on to. We were in for another surprise. Once we arrived home, and she saw me love on Peyton, she decided I was HER mom. Perhaps she thought we were going to live in that hotel room as a family unit. She may have been confused by our age difference. After all, her foster parents appeared to be closer to my dad's age than my own. To this day, Darryl still thinks Gracyn sees him as her big brother.

We did everything possible to make her comfortable. We spent countless nights sleeping on the family room floor together, just as she did with her Foster Family. I'd wake to give her bottles, I'd hold and stroke her hands and feet. She needed constant sensory input. She loved bath time, enjoyed eating cantaloupe and honeydew her first days home, and like Peyton couldn't get enough of playing outdoors. She hated the car and her car seat. We found out her rash was scabies. I had to wash EVERYTHING, and we were all treated with cream. We finally some some smiles and slight giggles coming out of her, but she was still heavy with grief.

She rejected Daddy, and it took us months of working on the Daddy-Daughter bond. We saw a family therapist, we'd try every technique we'd read about. . .and ultimately until I stopped doing the things she needed, and we more or less forced Daddy on Gracyn, did she begin to accept her Daddy. And it was worth it. However, to this day, we are still working on her attachment with Daddy.

Our sleeping arrangements changed multiple times, in an effort to find something that worked. We had the nights we slept on the floor as a family, then it was her crib next to our bed, then it was her in our bed, then it was Daddy and Gracyn in Gracyn's room on separate beds. . .after which when we felt they had successfully bonded or at least grown closer, she came back to our room. Then she started putting herself to sleep on the floor on her blanket. She couldn't stay in the crib any longer (she figured out how to climb out) and she despised the toddler bed. So, we let her stay on her blanket on the floor next to our bed. And then almost a year later, she and Peyton sleep in Petyon's room. At first, Peyton in a tented mattress on the floor and Gracyn on her favorite quilt on the floor beside him. So much for coordinated bedding, and room design. Gracyn's cherry blossom bedding is purely for looks, and Peyton's tent, well, let's just say it was a hand-me-down, and was pink and purple. Enough said. Today, they're still successfully sharing Peyton's room on their new bunk bed arrangement and are doing so well!! Mommy and Daddy are happy to have some normalcy to the bedtime routine. . .Just in time for sweet pea #3 to take over!

Lesson to be learned. . .never have expectations. Life is full of surprises. We thought we would bring home Morgan from China and then a daughter from Taiwan. We wondered at times if we'd possibly be raising virtual twins. We thought we'd bring home a baby from Taiwan, and we brought home a toddler. We thought it would take 5-7 months to bring Gracyn home, and we waited 10 months from our referral. We thought Gracyn would take to Daddy, and instead is Mommy's girl. You just never know what life will bring. No matter where you are in your journey in growing your family, He has a plan, and the surprises are blessings. Some are blessings in disguise, but the joy will be revealed.

My two "Big Kids" now. . .my blessings. . .my sweetpeas, my joy.