On the other side of the camera. . .

Please let this be the last time I write this post. . .I've now lost two versions of it! I have no idea why, but I even had the last version "scheduled" for first thing in the morning on New Year's Day. UGGGGGGH. . .How in the world can a saved draft disappear twice?! I think I just figured it out - Blogger isn't ready for 2009, and both times I had the scheduled date for 2009!!! Oh my, I wonder if 3 versions will show up on New Year's Day! Oh well - I'm "publishing" this one - I'm not going to attempt it for the fourth time. I was starting to think that MY blog really need not involve pictures of ME!

Take 3. . .Third Time's a Charm, right?
New Year's Day marks 4 months since I held Gracyn in my arms for the first time. I can't believe how much has changed. I'll never forget our AIT debacle, or the way Gracyn would scream and cry and kick and hit every time we got near the elevator, or better yet, how she'd point to leave the minute I appeared. She wanted nothing to do with me. Today she is very attached to Mommy. She's finally bonding with Daddy and brother, but Mommy is still the one she wants and the one who can comfort her. I secretly enjoy this, for I wondered while in Taiwan how long it would take for her to love and accept me.

While you wait for your child to come home, you fall in love with their photos. You know that you'll love them no matter what, but it's not until they are home that you can begin to fall in love with them. I didn't have any influence on my child for the first two years of her life. Certainly He has always had a plan for her and I pray she becomes who he intended for her to become. Let's not forget that she also came into my arms with a sleeping pattern, a personality, likes and dislikes, an attitude, a haircut, a scent, and a smile. . .all unfamiliar to me, all influenced by genetics and rearing techniques, not belonging to me. It takes time to get to know one another, and a parent-child relationship is no different. With patience, tears, prayer, and support from you, I can say from the bottom of my heart that we're now, in love.

Gracyn has gained about five pounds, her hair has grown over 2 inches. We've fixed those funny crooked bangs and healed her skin. She can tolerate her car seat now, but prefers and sometimes needs to have snack, a video, or my hand to keep her content. She still loves water and bath time. She loves chocolate, veggies, apples and peanut butter, meat, and oh, CELL PHONES! Real ones, not the Dora-kind, although she does play with her Dora phone quite a bit too. She can say "Mama," "Hello," "Dada," and signs "please" and "more." She somehow communicates with us with her sounds and body movements! I think Ramona affectionately calls it "charades"! She loves music and dancing! She still has her bottles at night and likes to hold Mommy's hand to fall asleep! She is so affectionate and the thing she loves, that I love the most, is me cupping her face in my hand.

Since becoming a mom I've taken thousands and thousands of photos. Primarily of my children, who I love capturing on film. Their silly faces, their "smirky" faces, their grumpy faces, and their "full of joy" faces. It's rare that I actually get any photos of me with my kids. I remember during our paperchase struggling to find photos including the "forever Mom" aka Me. So, on our way out to Costco of all places, I had Darryl take some photos of me with my baby girl. After all, I am the primary author of this blog, and most followers are those of you we've met on our journey to adopt. So, here I am, on the other side of the camera, with the little girl many of you watched journey home to her forever family.


To feel my daughter's head on my shoulder for the first time was amazing. To feel her cheek pressed against mine - that warms my heart.


To walk with her tiny hand in mine - that makes me feel like her Mommy, not just her Mother.


To hold her in my arms and know that's where she wants to be, that makes me proud.


To see a photo of me and my daughter side by side, smiling ear to ear - that makes me so grateful to have been entrusted with her.


To hear her laugh - now that, well that's incredible. . .sure, it's taken time to grow her tears into smiles, and her smiles into laughter, but it is priceless. Her laughter - that overwhelms me with joy.

Blogging wouldn't be the same without you. I can't imagine what it would have been like while I was in Taiwan, in tears, without the support and comments from all of you. Thank you for being a part of our journey through life with our sweetpeas. Thank you for reading, for caring, for laughing, and for lifting me up in your thoughts and prayers! Thank you for sharing your lives with us, and for your advice and inspiring posts! So glad you were a part of our 2008, we sure do hope you'll follow along in 2009!

Happy New Year to all of you, from me, the author, and my daughter, the girlfriend!