Gracyn allowed me to feed, bathe, change, and put her down to sleep, even in Taiwan. At home, I became the only one that she would allow to do most of these things. Always happy to go outside with Daddy, but never in a car without me, and still screams if he tries to put her down for bed or comfort her during the middle of the night. Lucky me!
In all honesty, while I'm fortunate to be the one that can comfort her, it's been hard. We all need sleep, and we all need a break, right? In the past month Gracyn and Daddy are taking baby steps together. As you can see below, she loves to play with water and the hose, which is something Daddy started doing with her. Fun for a while, yes, but the rejection she dishes out to him is still very hard. Hard on him, hard on me to watch, hard on me because that means it's still up to Mommy, hard on brother because that means he has to always give up mommy to sister. . .
Pictures don't lie, so you can tell that Gracyn and Daddy are bonding, and for that, I thank our Heavenly Father. If you feel Gracyn on your heart this week, please pray for her to open hers just a little more to Daddy. The reward of being able to pick up your crying child and having them stop instantly is amazing, isn't it? You know you're their parent at that moment, right? Your arms are where they feel safe, and loved. Your smell, your touch, the sight of your face is instant comfort. I can attest to the amazing feeling it was to experience this with Gracyn. Even more amazing because the sight of me used to terrify her. I only had to wait 10 days or so, and well, Daddy is still waiting and really deserves and needs to experience an "AMAZING" Gracyn.
To Daddy,
Hang on just a little longer. . .I will show you what amazing is.
Love, Gracyn
9 comments:
Tiff,
I missed this post yesterday. You betcha I will be praying for your precious daughter and husband. Funny, Cinderella is playing on your Playlist as I type this. Gracyn and her Daddy will be dancing very soon and for years to come. It is God's Desire and Plan you know ; )
love ya,
Shannon
Do you think that you might be able to let Daddy rescue her in the next few days? I mean, do you think that you could pretend not to notice something or walk away when you know that she is going to need you and let them work it out? I had to do this a few times with Allie and her Daddy. It was sooooo hard to do, but it wound up helping her to understand that he could and would be there for her just the same as I would be. I also would take about 45 minutes a day after our 2nd week together and take a shower or what have you and leave them together to figure each other out. I worked for us...
I will keep Gracyn and her Daddy in my thoughts. It WILL happen Tiff...Keep smiling...
Lora
Oops, I meant to say "it" worked for us!
Lora
But I do work for us too...LOL...
prayin for Gracyn and Daddy especially but for all you too :)
hugs
Tami
Noah's mama
www.tillGodbringsthemhome.blogspot.com
Tiff,
I totally feel for you and Darryl. Not only did Samantha reject daddy but she rejected him so completely that just the sight or sound of him threw her into terrified screams. Now when daddy gets home every afternoon she is so excited that I have to hold on to her to keep her from being hit by the door! However, getting from A to B was a long and painful process and any pushing on our part only seemed to extend it and funnily enough we did some of what you are doing - dad would take her to the yard or garden (I wouldn't take her so if she wanted to be there she had to go with him) and that is really where their bond was born. He would also take her to the store (this was months later) for very quick trips (we are less than a minute from Raley's) and when he heads out in the evening (even if he's just going to the car) she will run after him screaming "Dad more store dad". I'm sure the free cookie at Raley's helped some!
Eventually those things led to him being able to pat her *back* to sleep if she wakes (she still only wants mommy to put her to bed) and if mommy is not here upon waking -morning or nap - she becomes anxious and then tells me all about how I wasn't here in her very sad voice. The sad thing is that *I* have to wake dad to tend to her.
I think this is becoming a book but I wanted to give you some support. Even when daughter is stubborn and has decided on total rejection in our experience just time and lots of fun and attention turn things around!
Good luck! Lori
Hang in there. I know it is so tough in the beginning. They just want Mommy all the time. I still feel it some days from Kate. It is exhausting. But I used to tell myself that I/she was making up for all those earl days we did not have one another. I will pray for her sleep, peace of mind and security and trust in you.
Kim
Is professional photography a 2nd career for you? You take the best pictures! As for Daddy-Gracyn bonding - it's happening, maybe slowly but it's happening.
Tif,
Wow, that is hard! David went through this same exact thing. We found great success however in My going away for a almost a whole day once a week for a while and Jer having to lean totally on Daddy for everything. We then backed it down to less time without mom there to "save" him. This seems to work wonders in most homes where the child has a bonding deficit with one parent. Our extensive training taught us that when your child shows need and then the need is fulfilled and etc this is how the bond actually builds with each person they are with. Our SW that did our homestudy was really pleased that I figured this out..lol. Just like with you in Taiwan, your bond built with you doing all the "necessary life sustaining activities" with her. Same with Darryl. Gracyn needs "forced" time with him where there isn't anyone but Darryl to feed her and do the things necessary to sustain life for her. Just a suggestion hon... we will be praying for your Gracyn. This will all shake out in time!
Sarah k
Taiwankiddo2.blogspot.com
The last line of the post just made me melt.
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